Shagging

“Ha! Shagging a chair is quite odd.” “Its legs were very sexy. And I know how you are, so I expected a challenge. What did you turn into anyway?” “Oh, the dowdiest mortal woman. You should have seen it.” “Oh, I would have been all over that.” “I know!”

Well, you'll do what you want, but I'll tell you this: one of the best shaggings I ever had was with an overweight housepainter who bought me a beer and a hamburger and, the next week, painted my kitchen for free.

I'm sick of this shagging job.